Stop Glamorizing Perfectionism

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a personality trait that pushes one to the extreme in striving for flawlessness in every task. It can come across as fixating on imperfections, trying to control situations, working hard, and/or being critical of the self or others. Perfectionism is often celebrated and praised as a positive trait that indicates self-discipline and determination. In reality, unhealthy perfectionism causes more stress and anxiety to a person than motivating them to be productive. Unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by being preoccupied to ensure that every detail is flawless and the desire to have control over every situation. This overrated over-achieving trait actually inhibits one from exerting all of their potentials.

Causes of Perfectionism

In most cases, perfectionism stems from internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment. Social factors also contribute to the increase in statistics of young people with perfectionistic tendencies over the past 30 years. The causes include greater academic and professional competition, pressure from social media, high expectations from family members, feeling insecure, and attachment issues. Genetically, perfectionists are said to have a “fixed” mindset rather than a “growth” mindset. People with growth mindsets are acceptive of setbacks and do not tie their self-worth to their achievements. In comparison, people with fixed mindsets set unrealistic standards and strive to avoid failure at all costs. Failure can greatly influence their self-worth and impacts their mental health.

Types of Perfectionism:

1. Self-oriented perfectionism: Imposing an irrational desire to be perfect on oneself.

2. Other-oriented perfectionism: Placing unrealistic standards of perfection on others.

3. Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Perceiving excessive expectations of perfection from others.

Signs/Traits of Perfectionism

• Need for order and neatness

• Concern over mistakes

• Sensitivity to criticism

• Self-criticism

• All-or-nothing thinking

• Being highly critical

• Feeling pushed by fear

• Having unrealistic standards

• Focusing only on results

• Feeling depressed by unmet goals

• Fear of failure

• Procrastination

(Read more about these traits on https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233)

Dangers of Being Perfectionistic

Perfection is unachievable in reality. When taken to the extreme, the strive for perfection can lead to counterproductive and negative outcomes such as “procrastination, a tendency to avoid challenges, all-or-nothing thinking, toxic comparisons, and a lack of creativity.” Maladaptive perfectionism is often fuelled by anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and unpleasant childhood experiences. The condition is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and even suicidal impulses.

How To Overcome Perfectionism

• Practice mindfulness and being present in the moment.

• Use compassionate self-talk.

• Challenge negative self-judgments.

• Set attainable goals.

• Set time limits for tasks to avoid spending excess time trying to perform a task perfectly.

• Avoid procrastination by concentrating on the task instead of the end product.

• Celebrate mistakes and failures because you learn more from them.

• Pursue different things that matter to you and make you happy. Avoid focusing on perfecting only one thing.

Perfectionism vs. OCD

Although perfectionism itself is not a mental illness, it is commonly linked to many mental disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). While often used interchangeably, perfectionism and OCD are not equivalent. In contrast with perfectionism, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric condition in which a person experiences intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors that they are unable to control. Some common compulsive behaviors include cleaning and hand washing, checking/making sure something is right, counting, ordering and arranging, etc.

Conclusion & Personal Connections

As the world progresses toward becoming more aware of mental health and its importance, perfectionism is slowly losing its glamorized reputation. More teenagers are speaking up against comparisons and unrealistic standards that negatively impact the overall well-being of society. All of us are built to be perfectly imperfect and there is always something worthwhile even within imperfections.

Author's note: Ironically, I procrastinated on writing this article due to perfectionism. I was worried that I couldn't create the most appropriate content to suit the ideal image in my mind. I doubted my capability and potential in building this platform. I wasted too much time trying to pick the most prevalent and fitting topic to write about as my first educational post. All of these thoughts kept circling around me. My mind became the biggest obstacle on my path to success. In other words, I made myself stumble and struggle just because a voice in my head says, "If it's not perfect, I don't want it." Eventually, I pushed myself to pick a random topic and just do it. Yes, the voice was loud and judgemental, but I know Ms. Perfectionist will never be satisfied no matter what I achieve. I didn't realize I chose the topic that reflected how I felt until after I published the article. So here's your reminder to challenge those irrational thoughts and practice self-acceptance today :)

Sources:

• Bergland, Christopher. “Is the Perfectionism Plague Taking a Psychological Toll?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 3 Jan. 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201801/is-the-perfectionism-plague-taking-psychological-toll.

• How Perfectionism Is Linked to Anxiety | UPMC Healthbeat, 18 May 2021, https://share.upmc.com/2021/05/perfectionism-linked-to-anxiety/.

• “Perfectionism.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism.

• Scott, Elizabeth. “10 Telltale Signs You May Be a Perfectionist.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 5 Jan. 2022, https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233.

• Wahome, Cyrus. “Struggling to Overcome Perfectionism? How to Overcome Perfectionism.” WebMD, WebMD, 24 Aug. 2021, https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-to-overcome-perfectionism.